Bartenders Know

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  • Post
    Greystoke
    Participant
    YE
    Resolved
    Love to hear more first-hand wisdom:

    Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

    Drink: Beer
    Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
    Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

    Drink: Blender Drinks
    Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.
    Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

    Drink: Mixed Drinks
    Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows exactly what she wants.
    Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her,> if she is interested, she’ll send YOU a drink.

    Drink: Wine – (does not include White Zinfandel, see below)
    Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
    Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

    Drink: White Zinfandel
    Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
    Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is…. this should be an easy target.

    Drink: Shots
    Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk…… and naked.
    Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed this evening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make her mad!

    Then there is the MALE addendum. The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

    Domestic Beer: He’s poor and wants to get laid.

    Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

    Wine: He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

    Whiskey: He doesn’t give a hoot about anything but getting laid.

    Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

    White Zinfandel: He’s gay.

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  • Replies
      rhinopm
      Keymaster
      US
      Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

      I know a gal that ALWAYS drinks white Zinfandel.  You hit the nail right on the head.

      Unless you are the leader, the view remains the same.
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      writer125
      Participant
      That is too funny. Especially the tequila wanting the toothless waitress. That is about right. Wasn’t there a country song about a guy and a toothless waitress? And the White Zinfandel for a lady, of course, will probably never know anything. That’s a great post.
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      George
      Participant
      US
      Drink: Diet 2 Litre Cokes, Warm, not shaken, no glass, 4 bottles a day, Pizza slices, guzzling while coding.

      Man has an excellent salary, plus six-figures, huge 401K and drives subcompact fuel-efficient vehicle as above average height and reference to his mother as, “Mother.” Pacemaker mid-thirties, type 2 onset and usually several toes removed before afoot at age fifty.  Can’t walk your dog.  Favourite Lazyboy embroidered chair.

      Fixer Upper.

      Hot Pockets bonus sides

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      George
      Participant
      US
      ^^^

      Perhaps the female bartender on guys at the troth?

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      xXx_69four20_xXx
      Participant
      CL
      Interesting. Will investigate. Thanks for a roadmap

      Persistence can piss a hole through a mountain.

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      BlackenFish
      Participant
      none
      I agree but watch out for the shot’s…you could easily have a night of holding her hair…and not for a BJ.
      Staring at the Sun for spots  
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      bradflinn
      Participant
      none
      As a former tender of the bar, I confirm this to be accurate.
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